I was enraged earlier and I do not become enraged easily or often. I found myself thrashing around the house and cursing the skies. I had to help a friend in a time of need. Now this is not the problem, I love to help – it is one of my greatest callings. The problem arose when they asked me to assist them in a situation that would both: one, push me back several steps in my goals and two, my assistance would do nothing but prolong the same issue from occurring again. They are a certain type of irresponsible and lack proper communication skills in this area. I have tried to assist them with steps and proper measures to prevent this from happening again, but my efforts are useless when fear and complacency have taken a seat at their table. It is all too familiar to them even if it is destructive and harms not only themselves but many others. My life has always been a conundrum of “How much is too much,” when helping others. When is enough enough, when do you just let go and leave people to their own devices?
I was falling, slipping from being centered. I knew that I could not remain this angry. I went outside to feel the warming wind press against my body and listen to the busy birds and bees. My angry was subsiding but still remained a stiff lump of fury in my stomach. I even tried reading, it was not working. I went to get a haircut. I truly did not want conversation but he began to speak. And when he did, it brought me out of my head and into the present. My barber, a man who did not speak much (at least nothing of importance) began to remind me of assisting others in need. He stated that more people should work on uplifting each other through education and motivation. And as he cut the unruly hair on my head I became more beautiful, externally and more importantly internally. The anger fell to the floor with every snip and buzz of his tools. The barber chipped away my forming exterior of materiality and selfishness. I told him nothing of my situation; I showed no anger or disturbance. He felt it. Something in him knew I needed words of wisdom. I could not believe it, as we conversed on uplifting the community and letting go of material objects my anger started to disappear. His words told me and reminded me of my own mantra – “This Too Shall Pass & “Everything Happens for a Reason.”
With every decision there is an outcome. We must be responsible for our decisions. Although I was not too happy assisting this person, I knew it was the right thing to do even though my body felt otherwise. This has knocked me back a couple of steps, but it was a lesson I needed to be reminded of.